As an mlm person who grew up in fandom spaces, I can say that it’s a lot more complex than this. Fetishizing is a lot more than just sexualizing, especially in this context. The way fandoms tend to treat mlm stuff overall, even when it’s not being sexualized, is still so fucking weird and genuinely kinda damaging sometimes klsdfhakjsdas
and I idc, I can say with all confidence that lesbians can be guilty of this shit too. There are plenty of lesbians in fandom spaces who treat mlm ships real fucking poorly. This counts for asexual people too. People aren’t instantly exempt from making mistakes just because they have a specific sexuality.
Sadly there are some mlm people in fandom spaces that are so used to this stuff that they kinda perpetuate it. I feel bad for them, because as someone who was like that, and has grown out of it, I can say it is actual harmful to mlm people, especially to go through and perpetuate, that fucked with me and my image of myself and my sexuality for a long time.
I’m not saying all mlm shipping is inherently fetishistic or harmful or that non-mlm people are instantly bad for doing it, I’m just saying, mlm people aren’t shitty or “bigoted” or “oversensitive” for calling for critique of fandom spaces. I am begging yall to please just watch the way you act and treat representation. Please put yourself under a microscope if you have to, but STOP looking at fandoms and their handling of mlm through rose colored glasses.
funny how the internet is either, “Omg, you LIKE men?? Get well soon” or “AWW MY LIL GAYBIES UWU” with little to no inbetween, and when actual queer men call this shit out, we’re called assholes. Please stop talking over us.